Grgrgrgrgrgrgrgr.

In a recent post I told of the astonishing corrugated road experiment of Ealing Council. I had been wondering how they could afford to engage in such folly when the answer came through my door one morning. The latest round of pasta_rogue vs. Ealing Council Road Fundraising Trap Department had resulted in another win for the town hall.

Looking back, this has been a long saga.

Round 1 - The Pointless Pavement Scam. Ealing Council realised that if you pave a piece of land next to a road then you can call it pavement even if it is in a position where no pedestrian would ever use it. Therefore with a small clause inserted in local parking law I can be accused of parking on a pavement endangering pedestrians and expect a fine on the doormat. Sure enough I fell for it.
pasta_rogue 0 Ealing Council 1

Round 2 - The Staggered Restrictions Scam. If you introduce parking restrictions to an area of roads and are inconsistent with the times that the restrictions apply, you are likely to catch out a lot of innocent civilians. Well, I noticed a zone had parking restrictions 3-4 pm so parked, did my shopping and was back at the car well before 3 ... but of course I had parked just round the corner from a change in restrictions and I was in the 2-3 pm zone. I should have been more wary, I know.
pasta_rogue 0 Ealing Council 2

Round 3 - The School Opening Time Scam. The perfect time to have parking restrictions around a school according to Ealing Council is 9:00-10:00 in the morning as this will encourage parents to think that it is safe to park as school starts at 8:55. Once they are in this mindset they will most likely forget the restrictions on the day when they are 5 minutes late and you can pounce. Or maybe they will get talking to another parent and forget the time. So far I have won this battle, although one time I returned to my car at 8:59 to find two traffic wardens standing next to it and watching their watches tick round towards the magical moment that they could leap into action. I gave them a big smile and left before they could detain me.
pasta_rogue 1 Ealing Council 2

Round 4 - The Improbably Slow Speed Limit Scam. So, you are whizzing along a 3 lane dual carriageway, practically a motorway, mid morning, traffic is pretty light and WHOOOPS, I forgot to slam my breaks on for the 40MPH zone (!) and the dreaded yellow box of doom has spotted me.
pasta_rogue 1 Ealing Council 3

Round 5 - The Unexpected Parking Restriction Scam. There's a local road I know that no-one lives on, just hedges either side, it's not near the tube or shops or a school, but woe betide you if you park on it between 11 and 12 on a weekday morning. I think it was meant as a kind of double-bluff, but I've not fallen for it yet!
pasta_rogue 2 Ealing Council 3

Round 6 - The Sneaky Line Extension Scam. There is a certain place that I park about twice a week, but I think I must have been watched. Suddenly one day the line painters have been out and extended the double yellow lines on this particular road by exactly 1 car length! Too obvious I'm afraid, you're not catching me out there.
pasta_rogue 3 Ealing Council 3

Round 7 - The Rush Hour Bus Lane Bank Holiday Scam (with Corrugated Road variation). Using a bus lane is always a temptation for the impatient driver, but nowadays we know it is likely that there will be a sneaky camera placed to catch any such indiscretion. So, we have the introduction of rush hour bus lanes which you can use at the weekend or any time outside rush hour on weekdays. And the trap is laid ... wait for a bank holiday Monday which is technically a weekday despite having the characteristics of a weekend day, lay down a piece of corrugated road (drdrdrdrdrdrdrdr) to disorientate the drivers just before the bus lane and BINGO, 6:54pm on a bank holiday Monday, just before the end of the restriction time and in I stray.
pasta_rogue 3 Ealing Council 4

Snooker Lucre 2

If you followed my first round tips you'll have enjoyed a roller coaster ride which looks like finishing on a high (phew)

Anthony Hamilton 10-3 Marco Fu
Whoops. Blaming a bout of flu and contriving to lose 3 consecutive frames on the black when it looked like he might launch a comeback, Fu capitulated.
Barry Hawkins 9-10 Fergal O'Brien
O'Brien put my tips back on track despite allowing Hawkins to get back from 9-6 down to 9-9 before finally clinching victory.
Stephen Lee 7-10 Mark Selby
Bizarrely Selby allowed Lee to go into a 5-0 lead before he started playing properly as Lee tired.
Allister Carter 7-2 Andy Hicks
Not quite all over yet, but Carter should ease over the line today to complete 3 out of 4 for the tips, and a small profit.

Second round starts today with the best two players in the world (O'Sullivan, Robertson) facing each other later in the round. In the early tranche of matches there is 1 huge value bet.
Ian McCulloch v Anthony Hamilton
The bright side about Fu's defeat is that it gives us another chance to oppose Hamilton. McCulloch is a strong player fresh from a great victory over Dott in the first round and should easily avenge our first round loss.
Current odds on Betfair 1.78 - My fair odds 1.21 or less.

Snooker Lucre

With the World Championship starting this morning, I can present you with the best options for profiting on the first round matches if you fancy a flutter. I have used a few different rating systems and the bets below come out as huge value whichever system is used.

Anthony Hamilton v Marco Fu
Hamilton is abysmal nowadays and along with Andy Hicks is one of the worst two players appearing at the crucible this year. Fu is a quality player on his day and showed his class doing well in last years championship
Fu available at approx 1.71 on Betfair - Correct odds 1.16 or shorter.

Allister Carter v Andy Hicks
Hicks has had a terrible season and should be no trouble for Carter.
Carter 1.47 on Betfair - Correct odds 1.15 or shorter

Barry Hawkins v Fergal O'Brien
Until a recent upturn Hawkins had been having an atrocious season whilst O'Brien is currently underrated and should be favourite for this match.
O'Brien 2.7 on Betfair - Correct odds 1.45 or shorter

Stephen Lee v Mark Selby
Piggy has run hot and cold this season and allegedly couldn't go and play in the China Open because he was to heavy for the plane to take off with him in it. Mark Selby is the only relatively unknown player with a realistic chance of becoming World Champion and should send Lee home early.
Selby 1.76 on Betfair - Correct odds 1.33 or shorter

I heard it in da signal box

Listen out for this one appearing in a top 40 countdown near you some time soon.
Tommy Fiddy mash-up

Massacre of Bridgetown

As predicted, kind of, before the tournament started the top 4 teams progressing to the semi finals are Australia, South Africa, New Zealand and Sri Lanka. And, based on the winners and losers of all ODIs since Jan 06, presuming the semis are AvSA & SLvNZ the chances of each team winning now are as follows.

Australia 36%
New Zealand 26%
South Africa 23%
Sri Lanka 16%

However I may not be able to report on the final results, as it will be difficult to turn the cricket on after the traumatic events of yesterday's ritual slaughter of England by the somewhat unpredictable but undoubtedly strong South African team.

drdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdriving us crcrcrcrazy

Once again Ealing council are pushing out the boundaries of human development, challenging the unchallengable, championing the spirit of innovation that has made this nation, possibly even this species, great.
The old-fashioned 1960s idea of flat roads is already seen as passe with the popularity of deadly, costly, poisonous speed humps still increasing, but now there are new ideas taking over.

Who needs flat roads when you can have CORRUGATED ROADS?
Yes, about a 30 metre lenght of the A312 is now corrugated. It makes a drdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdr noise and serves no obvious purpose except maybe to check drivers are awake by giving them a good shake.
Overall it's a thumbs down.

West Indies down, but still not quite out

With Brian Lara announcing his retirement from ODIs after West Indies failed to get the result they wanted against South Africa you'd be forgiven for thinking that their competition was over, however they will finish level on points for 4th place if they win their last two matches and South Africa lose theirs. South Africa play their two games before West Indies so the hosts will have a very good idea of what they need to do in terms of run rate in their last two very winnable matches if their world cup is still alive.
It has been a mixed few days for South Africa, with this win lifting them back up after their disasterous Bangladesh defeat. Thanks to that result Bangladesh (and England) will both remain mathematically in the tournament even if they lose in their vital clash today. Bangladesh are in fact now the most likely team to deprive one of the top 4 of their semi final place. Ireland will be the first team out when they lose to Australia on Friday.

Winner

Australia 38% (+2)
New Zealand 25% (+2)
South Africa 22% (-3)
Sri Lanka 15% (+1)
England 0.28% (-0.01)
Bangladesh 0.22% (+0.21)
West Indies 0.09% (-0.64)
Ireland 0.00%

Semi Final qualification

Australia 99.99% (+1)
New Zealand 99% (+1)
Sri Lanka 97% (+1)
South Africa 88% (-3)
Bangladesh 8% (+7)
England 6%
West Indies 2% (-6)
Ireland 0.00%

Superb Eight stage cancelled!

Not really, of course, but less than half of the way through this period of the tournament and the four semi-final qualifiers appear all-but decided. Sri Lanka's defeats of West Indies and England mean that those two teams will now need to turn their sights on their very difficult next matches against South Africa and Australia respectively.

Winner
Australia 36% (-2)
South Africa 25% (-1)
New Zealand 23% (-1)
Sri Lanka 14% (+5)
West Indies 1% (-1)
England 0.29% (-1)
Bangladesh 0.01%
Ireland 0.00%

Semi final qualifiers
Australia 99% (+1)
New Zealand 98% (+3)
Sri Lanka 96% (+32)
South Africa 91% (+1)
West Indies 8% (-20)
England 6% (-13)
Bangladesh 1% (-4)
Ireland 0.00%

France rush to leave Ealing reeling at damn tram sham

I notice the French have a set a new speed record for trains on a traditional track of 357mph between Paris and, well, somewhere else in France.
But fear not, noble Brits, proud Londoners, for Ken is pressing ahead with his plan for a tram all along the 207/607 bus route in West London at the bargain cost of £648 million for installation plus £48 million per year in running costs not covered by fares, partly due to the £1.2 billion over 30 years to pay back the borrowed finance to take on the project, despite local strong local opposition in all 3 boroughs affected by the scheme, particularly by those who will have main road traffic redirected down their currently relatively quiet residential streets.
I think these trams will probably travel at close to 400mph.
There was a tram on this very route until 1904 when it was improved to a trolleybus which in turn was superseded by the 607 bus.