Grgrgrgrgrgrgrgr.

In a recent post I told of the astonishing corrugated road experiment of Ealing Council. I had been wondering how they could afford to engage in such folly when the answer came through my door one morning. The latest round of pasta_rogue vs. Ealing Council Road Fundraising Trap Department had resulted in another win for the town hall.

Looking back, this has been a long saga.

Round 1 - The Pointless Pavement Scam. Ealing Council realised that if you pave a piece of land next to a road then you can call it pavement even if it is in a position where no pedestrian would ever use it. Therefore with a small clause inserted in local parking law I can be accused of parking on a pavement endangering pedestrians and expect a fine on the doormat. Sure enough I fell for it.
pasta_rogue 0 Ealing Council 1

Round 2 - The Staggered Restrictions Scam. If you introduce parking restrictions to an area of roads and are inconsistent with the times that the restrictions apply, you are likely to catch out a lot of innocent civilians. Well, I noticed a zone had parking restrictions 3-4 pm so parked, did my shopping and was back at the car well before 3 ... but of course I had parked just round the corner from a change in restrictions and I was in the 2-3 pm zone. I should have been more wary, I know.
pasta_rogue 0 Ealing Council 2

Round 3 - The School Opening Time Scam. The perfect time to have parking restrictions around a school according to Ealing Council is 9:00-10:00 in the morning as this will encourage parents to think that it is safe to park as school starts at 8:55. Once they are in this mindset they will most likely forget the restrictions on the day when they are 5 minutes late and you can pounce. Or maybe they will get talking to another parent and forget the time. So far I have won this battle, although one time I returned to my car at 8:59 to find two traffic wardens standing next to it and watching their watches tick round towards the magical moment that they could leap into action. I gave them a big smile and left before they could detain me.
pasta_rogue 1 Ealing Council 2

Round 4 - The Improbably Slow Speed Limit Scam. So, you are whizzing along a 3 lane dual carriageway, practically a motorway, mid morning, traffic is pretty light and WHOOOPS, I forgot to slam my breaks on for the 40MPH zone (!) and the dreaded yellow box of doom has spotted me.
pasta_rogue 1 Ealing Council 3

Round 5 - The Unexpected Parking Restriction Scam. There's a local road I know that no-one lives on, just hedges either side, it's not near the tube or shops or a school, but woe betide you if you park on it between 11 and 12 on a weekday morning. I think it was meant as a kind of double-bluff, but I've not fallen for it yet!
pasta_rogue 2 Ealing Council 3

Round 6 - The Sneaky Line Extension Scam. There is a certain place that I park about twice a week, but I think I must have been watched. Suddenly one day the line painters have been out and extended the double yellow lines on this particular road by exactly 1 car length! Too obvious I'm afraid, you're not catching me out there.
pasta_rogue 3 Ealing Council 3

Round 7 - The Rush Hour Bus Lane Bank Holiday Scam (with Corrugated Road variation). Using a bus lane is always a temptation for the impatient driver, but nowadays we know it is likely that there will be a sneaky camera placed to catch any such indiscretion. So, we have the introduction of rush hour bus lanes which you can use at the weekend or any time outside rush hour on weekdays. And the trap is laid ... wait for a bank holiday Monday which is technically a weekday despite having the characteristics of a weekend day, lay down a piece of corrugated road (drdrdrdrdrdrdrdr) to disorientate the drivers just before the bus lane and BINGO, 6:54pm on a bank holiday Monday, just before the end of the restriction time and in I stray.
pasta_rogue 3 Ealing Council 4