Barack Obama

O Mac, O Barbara B, Caramba Barrack Obama-arama!
Cobra bark, Crab roar, Ram baa, Boa moo!
KABOOM! arab car bomb. Boo arab mob. A crack boom, Obama coma.
A karma crack.

Fortunately, I have noticed that initial suggestions that all reports on the activities of President Obama would only be permitted to use letters that appear in his name have been denounced as Republican scare-mongering.

Lester Holt's debut album

Track listing:


1. Critic, unless he's Right.
2. Safe, unless he'll Bite.
3. Never, unless he Might.
4. Eclipse, unless it's Night.
5. Buzzard, unless he's a Kite.
6. No hard hat, unless on Site.
7. Socks, unless they're White.
8. Your round, unless you're Tight.
9. Minor Disagreement, unless it's a Fight.
10. Classic Album, unless it's Shite.
11. Seven Wonders of the World, unless there's Eight.
12. Funless, unless Sunless.

With thanks to Jasper.

Fantasy Monarchs

In case of a plague, nuclear disaster or Prince Philip finally flipping and going on a rampaging murder spree, I've checked to see who we may be left with as monarch. Here are some of my personal favourites with their current position in the line of succession.

6. Queen Eugenie
21. King Xan
29. King Cassius
40. Queen Zenouska
53. Queen Tallulah
55. King Maximilian
104. King Dimitri
121. King Boris
162. King Pius
168. Queen Xenia

Not forgetting of course, you may notice at number 483, King Philip, who must have picked up something from his wife in the last 55 years.

Also, here are some near misses from the past ... these people reached the number 1 spot, but for one reason or another never became the monarch. With one misplaced arrow/bullet/poisoned apple we could have had:

Queen Matilda - became heir in 1120
King Eustace - 1135
King Arthur - 1189
King Alphonso - 1274
King Roger - 1382
King Humphrey - 1435
King Arthur II - 1486
Queen Frances - 1558
Queen Sophia - 1702
King Ernest - 1837

Loads of Balls

You may notice that Statmeister Wah is following the World Championship snooker, which may, or may very well not, be of interest.

Name That Cricketer

Whilst I was in the gym on Tuesday morning, I noticed a man sheepishly walk in carrying a cricket bat and wearing one day cricket pyjamas. He proceeded to enter a gym studio room, one with the walls all covered with mirrors, and practice posing his cricket shots. He looked vaguely familiar but I couldn't name him. Perhaps you could suggest who it may be based on my observations?

• Tall, at least 6 foot 4 I think
• Black
• Fast bowler's physique
• Considers batting an exercise in looking stylish
• Reminiscent of a younger Chris Lewis
• Shaven headed
• In West London the day before the start of the cricket season
• Tendancy to leave preparation until the last minute

A Sign From Above ... Interpretation Needed.

Wow, a cat in my onion. Quick, let me stick it on ebay before it dries out.

A Conundrum for you

Yesterday's final Countdown number game was a tricky one, as you can probably gather from Carol's confused look in the above screenshot from the programme. However, it is possible to solve it, although I don't give anyone much of a chance of achieving it in 30 seconds.

So, what is the solution?

Squawk

Apparently the Wandering Albatross can fly continuously for as much as 10 years, turning its brain off one half at a time when it gets tired.
pic 1 : Improbably large Wandering Albatross chick interviews Sir David.
pic 2 : Mid flight, due to land 2014.

Legs, Drugs and Cuts on Beds, Bucks and Herts

Whilst enjoying today's North Circular traffic jam, 3 Counties Radio's travel alert cut in. After the usual "bit of a queue", "running fairly well", "High Street busy" rubbish they tantalised us with what was to come up.
"Stay tuned as we will be discussing jodhpurs and haircuts, and of course there will be the live link-up with Bogota Radio". Sounds like quite a line up. Unfortunately my radio returned to normal programming, but I think I may have missed out. My jodhpur knowledge is slim and Bogota at 3 a.m. must be bursting with activity.

Did she really just say that?

Marian Cotillard, winner of Best Actress of the Year at the Oscars for her role in "La Vie en Rose" (appropriately an anagram of "Eloise Raven", as it is a film about Eloise Piaf who was often known as the Raucous Raven due to her extraordinary singing voice) announced during her acceptance speech, rather rudely I thought, that "It is true, there is some mentals in this city."