Heath Ledger

Sadly, an actor died yesterday. I have no idea who Heath Ledger is, apart from the fact that he was in a movie called "Breakback Mountain" about gay cowboys, so I was pleased that Five Live were going to enlighten me by interviewing some fellow actors.
On being asked about the news, Morgan Freeman said "I've never met him, so I guess I'm feeling the same as the rest of you about this."
Was Jack Nickolson going to be more informative?
"I once nearly drove off a cliff. I had to get up in the middle of the night and I live up in the mountains and I nearly drove off a cliff 50 yards from my house. I never met him either."
And that was it. I remain unenlightened.

An Oddie Menu

Whoever's idea it was to invite Bill Oddie to be the star guest on the live Saturday Kitchen programme yesterday and then have the first celebrity chef cook duck for him should be awarded some sort of prize. Surely the expression on his face, the "I'm NOT eating THAT" and the comments on the merits or otherwise of shooting wild birds can't have come as a complete surprise to those involved in the programme.

Snoopy

Google are snooping on the whole world, and it's brilliant. Via map searching on google you can find satellite images of anywhere around the world, and you can spend hours doing your own snooping.

Anyway, while hunting for North Korean concentration camps I noticed this lovely pink volcano on the China/North Korea border.

Apparently it is Baekdu Mountain, and in the middle of it is Heaven Lake, one of the highest crater lakes in the world. I fear it may only be pink because of camera problems, but that doesn't really matter. I think the image above must have been taken in summer, rather than at this time of year when the average temperature there is a somewhat chilly -24C, which would suggest that the picture should be just a blanket of white.

New Year's Resolutions

The whole New Year's Resolution thing is clearly tedious and pointless. If you must change something in your life them do it straight away rather than waiting for January the first ... and why make such a big deal about it, do you really think the world is interested?

On the other hand, here are mine.
1) Update blog at least once every week. (Phew, nearly failed that already)
2) Reduce email inbox to less than 1000 items.
3) Stop whinging about Indian food/restaurants.
4) Go to the gym at least once a week unless away on holiday.
5) Boycott Robert Mugabe, should he come to visit.
6) Paint the kitchen.
7) Eat more apples.
8) Don't take up smoking.
9) Avoid the cliched belief that any list has to have a round number of items.

Beware of the Dinosaur

Today, while shopping for a birthday card for my nephew's 2nd birthday, I noticed a fun looking "You're 2 today!" dinosaur card with moving eyes. Perfect. However on closer inspection, I spotted a small warning box on the back of the card.

This card is not suitable for children under the age of 3 years

Whatever next?
I found a brightly coloured train card instead - it would have been a disaster if his Mum's childcare business was shut down over the careless display of an unsafe card.

Jesus Christ, Come On Down

I'm sure you must have noticed the ipod television advertisement at the moment with the music "1, 2, 3, 4, tell me that you love me more". Well, something had been nagging away at me about that song, and I have now realised what it was.

"What did god give us Neil?"
"God gave us life Nigel"
"Sure did"
"1, 2, 3, 4, John the baptist knows the score"

God Gave Us Life - Half Man Half Biscuit - Back in the DHSS.

1, 2, 3, 4, tell me that you love me more
1, 2, 3, 4, John the Bap-tist knows the score
Not just a bit similar, even rhymes and matches syllables.
I think it is probably a desparate attempt to convert the legions of HMHB fans to join the ipod generation in reverence to the new god that is the Apple. God may have given us life*, but bear in mind that when he also gave us a tasty looking Apple in the Garden of Eden, all was not as it seemed.

*alternative religious stories and scientific theories are available.

Rise of the machines

I noticed a "weight and age" option on the cycling machine in the gym, so now I am quite worried as to how it correctly guessed my age in years and my weight to the nearest pound.

Weston Beach Race

In October Weston-super-Mare hosted one of the more bizarre annual sporting events. Not some stupid for stupid's sake cheese rolling or bed racing extravaganza, but an admirably genuine attempt to create a big global event within the obvious limits of Weston-super-Mare.
You may have heard of the Weston Beach Race, but it first came to my notice this morning.
It starts relatively sensibly as an impressive 1000+ competitors on motor bikes race along a long, flat, slightly damp stretch of beach with a huge roar of engines:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB7pDwmqDJs
Then, whoever's idea this was, they got carried away. After the long straight the competitors turn into an intimidating circuit of sand dunes, some at least 15 foot high - here they are at the first dune in 2006:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1f1qaAZjduc
Obviously human-made sand dunes are not the easiest thing for a motorbike to scale, and, unsurprisingly, it doesn't take long before the amateur competitors (anyone who wants can enter) plough into the first sand dune and get stuck, or stall their bike on top of it, or topple over the top and spend a while lying down under their bike on the downslope, or, most likely, find themselves stuck in the huge queue waiting to make a fool of themselves.
Meanwhile at the front the first 20 or so riders whizz on round through all the sculptured dunes and jumps to return to the start line. It takes the top riders about 10 minutes to get round back to where they started, but this is not the end as amazingly this event is a 3 hour endurance race, so once again the top riders approach the first dune, which is still a scene of carnage, dodge the still-stricken riders and carry on round.
The end of the race fitted in nicely with the rest of the shenanigans. After two and a quarter hours of the 3 hour race the man with the chequered flag appeared and the race finished. A look over at the sea confirmed the reason for the premature conclusion, as the support vehicles parked on the beach were gradually becoming submerged by the approaching tide. Possibly that should have been foreseen.
The highlights of this event, and the supporting circus of other foolish events, can be seen again today at:
21/11/07 12:00 Sky Sports 2
21/11/07 18:00 Sky Sports Xtra
21/11/07 21:00 Sky Sports 2
21/11/07 24:00 Sky Sports 3

Not so Hot Mail

I am pleased to note that hotmail's new taste filter is working well :


This message has been blocked for your safety.
Don't miss Cliff Richard‏
From: Ticketmaster (ticketalert@mailservices.ticketmaster.co.uk)
This message may be dangerous.
Sent: 18 October 2007 18:06:42

Beware of the pig in pig's clothing

In Sainsbury's recently, I noticed, and obviously had to purchase, the new Pigs in blankets flavour potato crisps.

They have a real sausagey feel about them, you get the same nagging thought that you are eating something that would normally only be fed to farm aninals, and the flecks of greenery in them are similarly probably trying to hide something rather than just enhance the taste.

However the blankets appear to be missing. There is no obvious bacon hint in the flavour. It seems likely that the flavour makers in the crisp department came up with a reasonable sausage flavour, whilst the marketing people decided "Pigs in blankets flavour" would sell better than "sausage flavour". And, you've got to hand it to the marketing department because I wouldn't have bought sausage flavour or mentioned it on such an influential blog ... and someone somewhere realised that no-one in their right mind would make a repeat purchase, hence the "Limited Edition" tag.

So, the recommendation is to rush out, buy Pigs in Blankets flavour crisps, and then enjoy their quirkiness but you probably shouldn't eat them.