Wednesday, 28 November 2007

Jesus Christ, Come On Down

I'm sure you must have noticed the ipod television advertisement at the moment with the music "1, 2, 3, 4, tell me that you love me more". Well, something had been nagging away at me about that song, and I have now realised what it was.

"What did god give us Neil?"
"God gave us life Nigel"
"Sure did"
"1, 2, 3, 4, John the baptist knows the score"

God Gave Us Life - Half Man Half Biscuit - Back in the DHSS.

1, 2, 3, 4, tell me that you love me more
1, 2, 3, 4, John the Bap-tist knows the score
Not just a bit similar, even rhymes and matches syllables.
I think it is probably a desparate attempt to convert the legions of HMHB fans to join the ipod generation in reverence to the new god that is the Apple. God may have given us life*, but bear in mind that when he also gave us a tasty looking Apple in the Garden of Eden, all was not as it seemed.

*alternative religious stories and scientific theories are available.

Friday, 23 November 2007

Rise of the machines

I noticed a "weight and age" option on the cycling machine in the gym, so now I am quite worried as to how it correctly guessed my age in years and my weight to the nearest pound.

Wednesday, 21 November 2007

Weston Beach Race

In October Weston-super-Mare hosted one of the more bizarre annual sporting events. Not some stupid for stupid's sake cheese rolling or bed racing extravaganza, but an admirably genuine attempt to create a big global event within the obvious limits of Weston-super-Mare.
You may have heard of the Weston Beach Race, but it first came to my notice this morning.
It starts relatively sensibly as an impressive 1000+ competitors on motor bikes race along a long, flat, slightly damp stretch of beach with a huge roar of engines:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB7pDwmqDJs
Then, whoever's idea this was, they got carried away. After the long straight the competitors turn into an intimidating circuit of sand dunes, some at least 15 foot high - here they are at the first dune in 2006:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1f1qaAZjduc
Obviously human-made sand dunes are not the easiest thing for a motorbike to scale, and, unsurprisingly, it doesn't take long before the amateur competitors (anyone who wants can enter) plough into the first sand dune and get stuck, or stall their bike on top of it, or topple over the top and spend a while lying down under their bike on the downslope, or, most likely, find themselves stuck in the huge queue waiting to make a fool of themselves.
Meanwhile at the front the first 20 or so riders whizz on round through all the sculptured dunes and jumps to return to the start line. It takes the top riders about 10 minutes to get round back to where they started, but this is not the end as amazingly this event is a 3 hour endurance race, so once again the top riders approach the first dune, which is still a scene of carnage, dodge the still-stricken riders and carry on round.
The end of the race fitted in nicely with the rest of the shenanigans. After two and a quarter hours of the 3 hour race the man with the chequered flag appeared and the race finished. A look over at the sea confirmed the reason for the premature conclusion, as the support vehicles parked on the beach were gradually becoming submerged by the approaching tide. Possibly that should have been foreseen.
The highlights of this event, and the supporting circus of other foolish events, can be seen again today at:
21/11/07 12:00 Sky Sports 2
21/11/07 18:00 Sky Sports Xtra
21/11/07 21:00 Sky Sports 2
21/11/07 24:00 Sky Sports 3